Need some objective advice on my relationship?

(apologies for the length of this post - it ran away with itself! but please read as your advice will help me if meant sincerely)





Iam 21 with a 3 -year old daughter from a fling when i was 17. my partner is 30 and we have been together for 2 years, lived together for a couple of months.


My dilemma is that my partner seems uninterested in me since we moved in together.


He wakes up, goes to work (no problem there), and then usually to his mums or friends until midnight, comes home and goes to sleep.


this doesn't happen EVERY night, and he does sometimes do things like cook dinner for the family or go to park or get a babysitter and we go out, but he is out til midnight at least 4 days a week, which I think is too much.


I don't think he's cheating because if I call him at his mum's or friend's house (he tells me to do this as cheaper than mobile) then he is where he says he is.


I have tried to speak to him about it and he says he does love us and he took on my daughter willingly and it was HIS idea to move in together as soon as i fell pregnant (iam 4months now).





But I wonder if my pregnancy (planned by both of us btw) is the ONLY reason he moved in with me and now acts like he did when he was living with his mum (he is 30 with 3 serious relationships and never moved in with any of them)





He also said he is trying to cut down his drinking-his idea- (he drinks about 3/4 beers every night, sometimes more at weekends) I didn't tell him to cut it down although he knows i don't particularly like it although i tolerate it as he rarely comes home drunk.





What do you think?


xxxNeed some objective advice on my relationship?
You said he's 30 but has never had a truly serious live-in relationship. That could have a lot to do with it.


I had to deal with the same things with my fiance. We got into fights about it, I yelled and screamed and nothing ever seemed to work. Every approach I took was the wrong one...it was very frustrating.


BUT he ended up changing his ways by himself. We ended up almost breaking up once or twice and he realized what he was going to lose if he continued with his self destructive behavior.


Maybe he just doesn't realize exactly what he is doing to you. Try to talk to him and keep on talking to him. Nag him a little if you have to. Explain to him that you are 4 months pregnant, and he signed on with this situation to have a family and you are expecting just that. A family life with a man who is willing to have a family life with you.


He honestly will not change unless he feels he has to, or decides that he wants to.


Don't be his pi*s post.


Tell him exactly how you feel, explain to him. You don't have to hollar and explain to him that you would rather raise another child by yourself then raise three kids (him included).


I hope this helped a littleNeed some objective advice on my relationship?
i think you should find a well endowed lover for the nights he is out late, give him something for dessert when he gets home, hope he likes cream pie
sounds like you want him to stop living.we all need to spend time with friends away from our spouses.sounds like he treats you pretty good
Doesn't sound like he is ready to give up his freedom, so therefore not ready to be in a relationship.





I had this problem with my husband when we first started dating. He was so used to being able to do what he wanted when he wanted.





Your man is still in the selfish mind set that he will do as he pleases.


It's up to you whether you are going to tolerate it.