ADVICE PLZ......Abusive Relationship!!!!?

I just got out of an abusive relationship. It had lasted for two years and I just ended it this morning. I was wondering if anyone has experienced this or any advice that someone could give me to get over it.....





I find myself wanting to go back being that I love him but I am trying SO hard to stand my ground and not give in.





%26lt; PLEASE NO SMART REMARKS OR DISRESPECTFUL COMMENTS......%26gt;ADVICE PLZ......Abusive Relationship!!!!?
listen sweets, youre too young to be stressin over someone that has made a baby with another woman while the two of you were ';supposed'; to be together. be thankful that this mess has only been happening to you for a short amount of time. to you its been forever and when you love someone, you tend to want to believe that person for self gratification. give it a good 4 5 months outts site outta mind type shyt and you'll be good! trust me look how you describe yourself young sweet sexy unique, roll with that attitude,this morning was the first day of the rest of your life.celebrate!:)ADVICE PLZ......Abusive Relationship!!!!?
Here's the bottom line.





If you had a female friend who was abusive to you, would you stay in that friendship? Of course not because likely you have more than one friend.





Now, likely you don't have more than one relationship partner.





You don't love him. You love being loved. It's human. It's natural.





I know it's hard, but you must not go back to an abusive partner. He'll continue to abuse you, and you'll continue to take it.





There are plenty of good men out there who will treat you with the respect you deserve.
Listen, I was in an abusive relationship for a year and 8 months, and just got out of it three or so months ago. Even until this very day, I still want to go back, but I won't. DO NOT go back to him. You need to ignore him and stay away from him. The less of him you have to see and/or deal with the more time you have to get on with your life. It will be hard, very very hard. But trust me, when you figure your life out, and find somebody else.. You'll be thankful for getting away. It may take time to get rid of all the cuts and scars he's made into your life, but everything starting from the moment you get out will be better!


Get out and do somethings for yourself. Go shopping, or go to a spa. Go to the movies with friends.. or whatever you like! Just do you and have fun.
Yes, i was once in a very abusive relationship.





My best advice, go find the group counseling sessions for abused women. Call around, someone will know where to go. Go to them, learn about the adiction that one normally forms during an abusive relationship. They work to take away all self esteem so that you feel they still love you though they hurt you. Love would never hurt another in that fashion!





Being in a group will help you find others and you can lean on them and can help hold others up. Easy to tell another person to not go back. The counseling will give you tools to use to help love yourself enough to know that it's unhealthy and not worth going back too no matter what. Work the program to it's fullest.





I didn't go back. My life got better and better, because i learned to use my tools. I learned to love myself enough to demand better. I found a most wonderful man who would never consider abusing another human being. I married him and have been very happily married for 17 full years now. I learned how to have good arguments with him, how to have adult conflict with sometimes even agreeing there's no resolution.





The adiction is from the highs and lows, you miss the highs so badly. But it's not real, that love is not real at all. Real love is caring, deep, loving and has no fists at all.
Stay firm. My wife's ex was verbally abusive (not physical) but after so many years of ';beating'; her down mentally, it's taken years to restore her self esteem and confidence. Even 10 years later she's still having some issues. The longer you subject yourself to this kind of abuse, the longer it will take to get over it.
Yes, I have been in that type of relationship. It took me awhile to end the relationship but believe me it is so worth it. You know you do not deserve that type of relationship. All you can do is keep telling yourself that you deserve better. That you are worth more than he could ever give you. You will have to cut all contact with him, hopefully you have no children together with him. IF you do have children with him then only have contact with him because of the kids, that is it. Never be alone in the same room with him. Just keep yourself far away as possible. He will try to contact you because that is what controlling people do. Abusive people are usually controlling. If you have to, change your number. Please do not go back to him, that is the worse thing you could ever do. It took you this long to finally get the courage. You are stronger than you give yourself credit. You left, most woman do not even do that. Yes, of course you love him, but the love you guys have is not healthy. Very unhealthy and I am sure you have become a different person because of it. Find yourself again, the person you know you are. It will take sometime because right now not only do you feel hurt but you feel lonely. In time you will get used to doing thing on your own and you will enjoy it, trust me. I am SOOOOOO happy to be with a man that makes me laugh, more often than cry.
Well I spent 6 years of my life with someone like that and I had my son and two weeks later I left the crazy man. And to be honest with you I am surprised how quick I got over him. Truth is all you have to do is think about all the times he did BAD stuff to you. You should love yourself enough not to let him treat you this way. With me and I know this mught be the case with you I did not love him i THOUGHT i did but all it was is that I was use to being with him and I was used to being treated like dirt and I did not think there was anyone out there that would love me because he told me that all the time. But I moved on I found someone who loves me and has never laid one had on me. Think of how valluble you are as a woman and do not let him weezel his way back into your life. because men will only treat you the way YOU allow them to treat you. Just move on now and be glad you got out alive there is many women out there that only get out in a body bag. Please think about this and love yourself enough to NOT go back. Kepp yourself busy go to the gym, sign up for and arts and crafts class keep yourself busy!!!


Best Wishes to you.
Who ever said you can't love someone who is an abuser? You love the man, not the abuse. But here's the problem: The two cannot be separated. You find yourself wanting to go back to the man and the days he doesn't abuse. That's the man you love. You left the man that abuses you. They don't change. Remember that.
It's not him you love, just the fantasy you came up with to avoid the pain from abuse. First lose the fantasy, he doesn't love you, just the control. Let me ask this. you want a man right? YOU DON'T EARN STRIPES FOR MANHOOD BY ABUSING A FEMALE. You miss the idea that some where he may have loved you. Your caught up in the ';badboy'; thug bs. There is no longevity. But i've learned why women like yourself go for that. Even though he fights you(like some child), he still needs to be taken care (like some child). You fear that you may find a man who doesnt need you, which means you no longer have the ';control.'; Here is your grow up moment. Except you are a great person, and although you are no better than anyone else, no one is better than you. You need to find your own happiness and that only comes from you. Oh yeah, and you won't change him.
I went throught an abusive relationship for 2 years too. It's good that you finally realize you need to leave becuase if you don't it can get worse. TRUST ME.... He'll keep beating you and disrespecting you cause he knows your afraid of him and that you will NEVER leave. Please don't settle for that. I understand you love him, BUT let him go and you'll find another that will treat you like a queen. YOU deserve to be treated like a queen. So leave him!!!!!! you'll get over it somehow.... just go out and have fun! look your best as if nothing is bothering you. believe me it feels good. you'll get over it someday. TRUST ME. keep your head up high girl!
Try to remember all the times that he slapped u or blamed u for his sort comings or maybe the beatings u put up with . I know that u love him but nothing will change by going back except he will become more abusive and one day he could kill you,thank god there no kids involved in this. When i was a child my mom was beat a lot and then my dad started beating us kids as we got older but i broke that chain i do not deserve to be mistreated and neither do you so stick it out don't go back get some counseling that would help





HAVE A WONDERFUL AND SAFE MERRY CHRISTMAS
I was in a similar relationship a long time ago. It is difficult to leave, some may never understand that. But Questions that Plague your Mind, Where do you? How do you Make it? What about other members of the Family? Will he change? Mine would tear the house apart in rages, and each time repentant and beg for forgiveness. I was willing to go the distance as I loved him or so I thought, One I did leave though and I did some serious soul searching I found Love is not what kept me there, it was Habit. I was used to being w/ him as we had dated since I was old enough to date and married at 18.... Once I realized that, It was easy to move forward. Just remember, You are a Valuable Person and You do not deserve to be abused albeit emotionally or physically. Many Blessings.
hun i have been there . do not go back he will not change.. the abuse is not worth it. . he will just get worse, my ex was an abusive drunk. he punched me in the back of my neck he would throw my against the wall by my throat and call me nasty names. I was not allowed to eat any food unless i bought it. and i could not drink any pop unless i bought it, i had to hide my food or he would eat it while i was a sleep on the couch. please do not give in. take time to better yourself and give yourself time to heal you will find a wonderful man. I did i just to remarried, he is so wonderful and treats with with respect and helps me when i need it.. there are support groups you can go to that are free. check them out it will help
Sure, and I don't answer many of these but maybe this will help:





No, you don't want him back, unless there is something basically wrong with you. or your self esteem








Bottom line: What he is, and what you love, are not the same thing. And when you accept that, you can indeed move on.





I think relationships are Respect, Admiration Passion and Trust. You had the passion part.... and that usually does indeed last two years. Now, dawn has arrived, and you are looking at a bleak future..... you don't love HIM, you loved the sex, which is a no brainer.





Hon, if you have anything at all going for you, you don't want this back.





You're no dummy... you write this language well. Been there, moved on and found the prince. Write if you need some help.
Don't give in! I would advise a support group. Abuse really isn't something you just ';get over'; especially on your own. Please don't have any contact with him or see him, you very well could be in danger. Last year I lost a friend who allowed her abusive ex to stop by and talk to her. He ended up killing her (with the gun she had bought for protection from him) and then killing himself. This is not a joke. Please please please be careful.
You're not alone, I feel the same way, in the same situation. I will just tell you what so many have already told me, just stay strong and the feelings will fade and we will get stronger. I'm not sure I believe it yet, but it's good to know I'm not the only one. Good luck!!!





PS You may get smart remarks when you ask a question like this, but try not to let it make you feel any worse than you already do... again, I am speaking from experience...
Do not call him or take his calls.





When you feel like you want to call him, do something to pamper yourself instread.





It will be hard, but it is so worth it sweetie. I was in your shoes 2 years ago. Every day gets a little easier. In a couple months, you will look back at the abuse and ask yourself ';What the f*ck was I thinking, staying with that loser?';





You are worth so much more than what your abusive ex was giving you. BE STRONG.





If you feel yourself weakening, feel free to email me as I have been there,


comashaycomez@yahoo.com





You are in my prayers!





~hugs~
Big on respect %26amp; honesty???? ummmm If you want to have a normal life just get over it....Once you past the sad bump %26amp; you start hanging around people that actually love you %26amp; you go out, you will see what life is really about! Sounds like you have never been in a real relationship %26amp; once you experience what REAL love feels like you will look back %26amp; say what was I thinking....Stay strong %26amp; move on you deserve better...you have to truly believe that in order for you to be happy!
First you have to decide whether the relationship is worth salvaging and if he can overcome his abusiveness. If yes, professional help may be in order. If no, close this door to your life and move on, no looking back.
You may love him, but fight the urge to go back. Nobody should have to deal with that. He needs to get some help. May if he does get some help and makes a true turn around. But I would stay away. I think thats the best thing for you
Don't dare go back. I just got out of a 2 and a half year relationship and I didn't realize it before but he was such an asshole. You can do better than that. You just have to believe. :)
Young Lady, Be grateful you are out of it. Do something nice for yourself. Look at all the young women that don't get out and end up on the news because they get killed.
not possible to go back .


forget him now


have a good feature ahead


you had lasted for two years ended today .Just forget it like a bad dream .
Good for you!! I know it's hard, but the heart break will stop. You will be much better off without him and him abuse. Hang in there
seriously how can u love a man that does that ? =( STAND YOUR GROUND PLZ!!!!