i also have come across her laptop which she left up and i came across where this guy is telling her, that i need to be a better parent and such and such..
im not the jealous type its just i feel like he is leading her down the wrong path with his ';hidden agenda'; advice to her.
the emails started at 9 am after i left for work and continued every ten to fifteen minutes through out the entire day until 5 pm.. all about me and our kids..
how do i approach her with this without causeing a major issue, or coming off wrong?How do i deal with my wife when she is, getting advice on our relationship from an online guy?
.Your wife sounds like she is ready to jump ship and her friend sounds like a no-good back door Johnny.
You need to pay more attention to your wife and not so that she thinks that it's only something you are doing until the back door Johnny stops sniffing around. She is looking for love, excitement, and appreciation and if she isn't getting it at home she will get it elsewhere if she hasn't already.
If you know who this back door Johnny is and you can restrain your temper so it doesn't turn into a fist fight, I would have a little talk with him telling him to back off.How do i deal with my wife when she is, getting advice on our relationship from an online guy?
Well if shes going to someone else to ask for advice then she feels something is wrong and that y'all might split that relationship. So talk to her somehow you know she will appreciate that you care enough to work on things. If she think that you arnt being a good parent or husband then try and change those things and She will see you as a different person. But dont let some friend form the past get in the middle of your relationship with your wife. Even if she does get mad about you reading her computer tell her its only because your scared of losing her.
Good luck and let me know how things go.
Take her out to lunch and sit her down and explain to her what is going on and how your feeling. Ask her if she feels you are a good father and husband. DO NOT TELL HER you read her laptop or she will turn it on you and accuse you of not trusting her and invading her privacy. Some stones are better left unturned and she will go nuts on you. This guy sounds like he is sneaking around and trying to pry into your marriage. I would find out all I could about him and see past his facade. Remember the brighter the picture, the darker the negative. If she wants out there is nothing you can do about it but protect you and your kids, just get proof if she is cheating so you have a defense. Keep in mind you cannot use any thing he says on-line in court because it is not around the kids but it would look real good to show to her family. I took pictures of my ex wife with her fling and sent them to all her sisters, they reamed her a new one, after we divorced of course. Now none of her sisters will help her with anything like money or bills she is on her own, she blew it and I had the proof. If all else fails there are keylogger programs they sell at Comp USA or Best buy which will tell you what she does online and when she is on. I have such programs for my kids and they come in handy when catching them in a lie but they are not told how I got the info and the program is invisible.
Make sure to look at yourself and ask yourself if there is any validity to what this guy is saying about you or his opinion and your wifes. If there is then change your ways and let her see you are different or it will turn into a war.
You know her well enough to know when is the best time to speak to her.
Possibly after dinner and when she is not busy with work or the kids.
Be open to her and express your fears.
You can either ask her if she thinks that there are problems with the family or something like that.
Or you can just open up and tell her straight what you feel, just be tactful and make sure you phrase it well so she does not think you are spying or is on to what she has been doing.
It may not be harmful in her eyes so just clarify things.
Hope that helps.
Cheers
sounds like internet lust?--she may be innocent,,,but u need to talk to her,,the dude is filling her full o crap,,,thats if ur a decent person..had something like that happen to my wife,,a few punks at her work would act like ''ohh he aint doing u rite,,''then sweet talking etc..Tell U one damn thing--My wife will agree,all her friend s agree,,I am a Damn good husband!!,But enough is enough!!
I would take her computer and make a printed copy of her conversations,,for legal use if it goes that far---then question her and ask,,,when we got married,,I am susposted to b ur only male best friend,,if u cant talk 2 me about OUR problems,,then maybe u need to move,,,because we are suspost to work things out together,,if we cant work together then maybe we need to be apart..
You may get an answer that u dont want to hear,,,,and yes I would send Mr.Barry Poppins a sweet letter explaining that u know what has been going on..B nice cause the courts can get info u sent and her had sent off the computer,,so if u blow ur top,,u will be the bad guy and u will prove her rite.
if she loves u,,she needs to understand,,,but if she rather defend that punk,,,then she has made her choice...let her read this..she is tickled someone finds her attractive,,some people go through that,,,I wish u both the best of luck
Gosh,you are pretty calm about something that most would be explosive about and for that I give you a pat on the back.
From my experience online,this email going back and forth can be the beginnings of an affair. The fact that it begins after you leave tells me she knows she is doing something wrong.
Meeting him elsewhere, it doesn't matter if you are the jealous type or not, if there is an issue in your marriage, you need to talk and talk soon. You will probably just have to be straight forward and tell her you know about the emails, have a little 'You snooped into my space sorta thing arguement ' and then discuss it. I had a pen pal when I first came online, we instant messaged every night for 3 hours, about my family, his family,the weather, our jobs, just innocent life issues, one night he wrote something suggestive that threw me cos our relationship was so not a sexual one but then it went down and within a week, no contact but with a spouse who may not be happy in a marriage, it is easy,very very easy to sway into cyber sex . Talk to her like yesterday.
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