Please help - needing some advice about my relationship from some wise yahoo answerer -?

essentially I am beginning to get fecked off (like you do) about various things. Problem is the issues are so sensitive I know if I say something it will just mean he thereafter edits his behaviour and I'm not sure I want that either... if anything just wish he would be considerate in the first place without me having to say. Then (just to really complicate things!) I think too maybe the problem is not with him - maybe my expectations are too high and maybe I am too sensitive.





One issue we have is with money - he runs a sucessful business and I am still a student and earn alot less. In the beginning he wanted to pay for everything but I have never wanted to be a wag kinda girl at all - nor a kept woman so I did not feel comfortable with this. I don't want to be bought or have someone else having dibs on me if that makes sense? In the end he said he would pay then for most things and I could get him the odd meal etc and that seemed fairer and worked for a bit - then me being generous anyways I ended up paying for more and more. The problem is when I do (unlike when he does) he never even says a wee thank you - don't expect an oscar speech but just a wee acknowledgement would be nice. The last couple of times especially have really fecked me off. I went to the bank and he said to me 'you don't need money' which turned out clearly to not be the case as I then paid for almost everything - in all costing me nearly 拢200. He never volunteered to help and always nipped to the loo at inoportune times! By the end of the evening I was feeling quite hurt - annoyed especially as he was telling me how much he loved me and wants to look after me etc and yet his behaviour does not communicate that to me at all.





Then I convinced myself I was being silly, tried to think of all the good things he does do and even said to myself he probably is just not thinking/does not realise how hard it is for me to afford these things but moreover how hurt I get when he does not even offer to help. I never wanted him to pay for everything but I didn't want to either - some compromise in the middle which was fair would make me so happy.





Another problem is he is inconsiderate in other ways, he loves being held when he goes to sleep - this position is very comfy and mostly works well but he has never once considered I might like that too... another example is he and his wee 12 year old are coming over at new year to spend a week with my 4 year old daughter and I. As it is his son's first visit we have talked at length as to what we can do to make sure he has a blast. Problem is he has never once considered my wee girl's needs that week too. I try and say we will need to think of things for her to do too and he never goes with the conversation.





He tells me he has never been happier, cannot believe he has such a beautiful girlfriend - rings me a hundred times a day and is reliable and fun. Yet here I am feeling miserable and like I want to end it. Am I just hard work and being a pain? I just feel the whole situation causes me emotional and financial pressures I don't need. Like it is all one way traffic.





Hell the other day too he took a property paper over to show me the huge house he and his ex used to live in - just could not work out why he did that and was not sure what I was supposed to say - be impressed or what - seemed really insensitive. I am not a materialistic person, just very considerate and so maybe expect others to be the same but in him doing that I did make the comparison thinking he would do that for her (who treated him appallingly) and yet he is treating me this way... or is he - maybe as I say the problem is with me being demanding. PLease help. Cannot see the wood for the trees.Please help - needing some advice about my relationship from some wise yahoo answerer -?
It sounds like he's playing a game with the money situation - he is telling you quite clearly 'you don't need money' but you're still spending more than you can afford. Perhaps he was trying to make a point when he did the disappearing act: 'You DO need money, see?!'


But enough of that game it's not fun for you. Perhaps you'll have to give in a little and set aside your pride for the moment, let him help you with the financial aspects, because at the moment he's damned either way anyway. I know you express desire for a happy medium, but he's a bloke - he can't see the shades of grey in that agreement, perhaps because he's used to 'keeping' his ex-wife. He doesn't know quite how to behave under this strange concept of you paying for some things...??? He can't work out the boundaries. You might have to be specific: I can afford X but not X.





As for your kids, perhaps he was just so wrapped in up the thoughts of his son coming, that he found it hard to think of anything else? I'm just speculating - perhaps he really just wants to spend some time just him and his son? Was it you or him that suggested you all meet?





Perhaps the property paper was to show you what kind of life he would like to give you, if only you'd let him...?Please help - needing some advice about my relationship from some wise yahoo answerer -?
he is too mterialistic when it comes to spending and u r too generous in it where exactly the problem lies.love is mutual in all respects to both and it cant be lopsided and if it is so it renders love meaningless.
ok fine.





take things in urhands.


next time u want him to pay jus let him do it hes got the means rite, then wats the issue.


take care of things for ur daughter plus wen two kids r there the boy will be more than happy to have a new lil sis they will plan things among themselves dont worry urself.





slepping positions tat u will have to decide.
talk to him.