Sunday, July 25, 2010

Can someone give me advice on my relationship?

Hi All!





I posted about this relationship a week ago but now I found out that before we started dating, he told his best friend that he doesn't see it working out with us. If I (or anyone else) brings up his ex, he gets very defensive (towards her and how much he hates her). He also named things his family won't like about me before saying ';I am sure they will get over it and in the end as long as we are happy, it doesn't matter';. Am I in a relationship that is doomed?





Thanks in advance.





HERE IS WHAT I ASKED A WEEK AGO:





I started dating this guy and we have been friends for years. He dated a girl a long time ago, but it ended horribly. I was talking to him last night and the first thing he referred to was his past but quickly said ';it's the past';. So I asked if he had slept with her and he said yes. I said it kinda felt funny bc it's her, but he immediately said ';I can easily say it was the worst decision of my life'; right after I said I don't know how I feel about that.





I get the feeling that he is not over her but I know he has liked me for a long time. I know that they haven't talked in years, but when he saw her a year ago, the first thing he did was block her on everything so that he wouldn't have to see her. That just said that he wasn't over her, but I didn't question it. What do you guys think?





UPDATE: I saw that he still has all her emails saved. He never responded, but he has saved them all. He did go through and trash the forwards from her but saved all the personal emails. If he is over her, shouldn't he throw them all away?Can someone give me advice on my relationship?
Sometimes its hard to be stuck in the past. You can find yourself holding on to the very thing you told yourself you hate. It may not be a case of him being dishonest to you but him being dishonest to himself. You can tell yourself some crazy things when your heart is broken.Can someone give me advice on my relationship?
Maybe it means that he wants to get over her, but somewhere deep down inside still has feelings for her.


I've personally saved an old text message or birthday card from an ex who I know I will never date again just to relive a good memory.


Sometimes it's hard to get away from somebody and to let go of the past.


He probably blocked her so that he wouldn't start having feelings for her again and leave her in the past.
He is not over her he is trying though. I would not get serious with him until he is over her or you will not get the real him or all of him just the hurt part for when he was with this girl. Talk to him more about it maybe you can help him see that you are totally different from her and you will not hurt him like she did him.





please answer my question.
When a person is in a ';serious'; relationship like that it is always hard to let go. He is trying to hate her so that it is easier for him to get over her. If he can not be honest with you about this he will not be honest with you about much. I think right now you should probably stay friends and wait a little while before jumping right into this. Maybe you should try talking to him about it and always be open. tell him what you know and what you think about the whole situation.

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