What is/was your excuse for not ending your abusive relationship? I need some advice...?

I see all these questions about why people DO end abusive relationships, but never any about why people don't. I think I am in an abusive relationship... not physical, but emotional. There have just been things about me that I can't control that I was guilt tripped into changing. Ladies, if you were ever in my spot you know what I am going through. It is something that you can't explain in words... and he has done soooo many things for me, but the whole things is that I am beginning to think it was never for me. Because he has said stuff like, ';You would never be going to school if it wasn't for me';, or ';You know I'm the best you can do';, in a joking manor, but it makes you wonder, ';Why would you even say that, even if you are joking';. I have been with him for 5 years, and I was ALWAYS a clown! Now, it seems like I don't even know how to laugh at a joke. I am just worried that because he had helped me so much, and my world revolves around him, what will I do without him. It is a sickening feeling. I have 2 small cats that he will not keep if I leave, my family lives 10 hours away, my mom is allergic to my animals, and the list goes on and on... and at the end of the day I feel sort of trapped... like there is nothing I can do and that makes me hate this relationship even more... So please, I am asking this question to see if I am not crazy, because I am starting to feel like I am losing myself, and like it is my fault and I know that any human being is capable of making their own choices, making THEIR own word choice come out of their mouth, so why am I making excuses to myself? HELP!!!!What is/was your excuse for not ending your abusive relationship? I need some advice...?
Honey, I do know how you feel... and Idk why I cant leave either. I'm afraid that he is the best I can do and that I should just stick around. my bf says that stuff that yours said ALL THE TIME... We've been together 3 years. Doesn't it amaze you how fully confident you were before all the years you've spent morphing to someone's expectations? I walk around on eggshells all the time around my bf. Some other examples include him having a sh*tty attitude for no reason, which makes me get defensive and then I'm told, ';its YOUR fault that this happened, look what YOU DID to cause this, I never did anything.'; Then he'll laugh when I start to cry and tell me that I'm crazy, psycho, get off my f***in *** you b*tch.


Your last sentence says it all for me... I wish I could make my own choice without freaking out over my bf because you and I both know that there is something wrong with this situation.. They could up and leave us at anytime they wanted, but we stick around like scared puppy dogs. I have broken up with my bf once before after he cheated on me.... then he started stalking me at work and I had to move away. I was so lonely I ended up dumping my new bf to get back with him. I was so close and right now I can not even imagine having that much courage. You %26amp; I have a long way to go but you made the right step by not denying it in your head anymore!!!