In a new relationship and worried. Any Advice?

I am in a new relationship with someone after 3 years of being single. This is my first relationship since I was in a domestic violence relationship several years ago. I really like this man and I really want this to last. However, I am constantly worried that he's going to break it off. This is a fear of my own. It's due to my last relationship. I am constantly wondering to myself if I am doing things right and being a nice girl for him. I feel I have to be on my guard at all times, watch my every move and to not do or say anything that would make him decide to break up. See, my ex used to tell me that I do nothing right, and I am worthless and useless and no one will ever love me, etc. Just awful things, in addition to hitting me, etc. I have more than enjoyed the time that me and the new guy have spent together so far and I think this could really work and be a great relationship. But I feel burdened by these things from my past relationship. How can I free myself from my constant, nagging worry in this new relationship and enjoy this new one? I don't want him to feel as if I am still living in the past. He knows about my last relationship, but I want to show him it doesn't bother me. I want to enjoy the relationship and hopefully watch it grow and be rid of these demons. Any suggestions???In a new relationship and worried. Any Advice?
You strike me as being very insecure by some of the things you have identified in your question:


I am constantly worried that he's going to break it off;


I am constantly wondering to myself if I am doing things right and being a nice girl for him;


I have to be on my guard at all times, watch my every move;


My ex used to tell me that I do nothing right, and I am worthless and useless and no one will ever love me, etc


How can I free myself from my constant, nagging worry in this new relationship?





My advice is to put your doubts into constructive actions that will strengthen rather than erode your new relationship. Instead of letting your self-doubt control your life take charge!





How?





When you start having doubts channel that negative energy into something else; think or do positive thinks that will strengthen your relationship.





Mentally focus on the things your partner likes about you. Physically do something nice for you or your partner. Plan a nice night out, change into some clothes that make you feel good about yourself, make a nice dinner or prepare a favorite dessert; you get the idea I hope. It is all about conditioning yourself to think and act in a positive manner to counter the lingering doubts from the past.





Remember there is only so much anyone can do in a relationship; sometimes they last for a life-time and sometimes not. Regardless enjoy the ride if it is a good one and stop worrying that your relationship will come off the tracks.





Actively changing your outlook empowers you to take control of your own life, increases your self-confidence and makes you a much more desirable person to be around.





Good luck.In a new relationship and worried. Any Advice?
Decide to do that, think about him he don't deserve this, forget the pass and go on with a good future with a man that does care, you have to believe this.
Oh, honey you poor little thing! I'm glad to hear that you were single for 3 years. It's good to have some time to become yourself again after something so traumatic, but it sounds like you still have a ways to go.





Why are you so afraid he's going to break it off? You can handle yourself if he would for any reason. Sometimes people just don't click, but don't assume it's something YOU did or that it's YOUR fault because it's not. You deserve to have a great guy in your life and you're not worthless. He has no reason to leave you, but even if he did, you would move on and find someone else. You were on your own for 3 years and you don't need a man to complete you.





Everyone deserves to love and be loved. You should never feel burdened by someone else putting you down. Your ex has problems so don't give him the power to mess up your life like that. You need to stand up straight and recognize yourself for who you are. If people don't like who you are, you need to stay strong. Be confident and know who you are. You shouldn't feel like you're walking on egg shells trying to please this new guy because otherwise, you'll just be a doormat.





Obviously, the abuse was not your fault and no one deserves that. At the same time, you can't keep going on like this with such fear with your new man. I dont know how long you've been dating him, and I'm sure you don't want to come off as desperate, but maybe it would help for you to talk with him about it again and just tell him how you feel. If you're not comfortable with that, I would recommend seeing a psychologist or just talking to a close friend to let it all out.





If you do continue on like this, you very well may sabotage your new relationship. It's not healthy to believe that you're not worthy of him and constantly fear that he might leave you. You need to get yourself back and appreciate who you are. Don't let your ex define your future. You're better than that.





Good luck!
I think you need to just be yourself and stop concentrating on the past relationship. Because that is what it is your past and when you continue to vibe off of old situations then you tend to not appreciate what you have now. If you are truly enjoying your relationship now then you need to show him and please dont be fake about who and what you are. Feeling burdend is an emotional trait so let it go and enjoy life. I'm quite sure your ex has. But from the sound of things his *** need to be in jail.
just be yourself.... if it is meant to be he will not leave you because he likes who you are as a person... you also need to open up to him and let him know about your past so that he can maybe give you some closer on that situation he can be the one to show you that not all guys are mean and disrespectful.... Just be who you really are... thats all there is to it...
Tell him your fears. Your last relationship left a mental scar and of course that will effect how you view things now, but if you explain it to him then maybe he can allay some of your fears, or even just understand why you act a certain way sometimes. As long as you explain that you are trying to move on then he should help you through it. I had a similar experience with the mental abuse but my guy after the abuse was really intuitive so instead of me going to him with my fears, he came to me and drew it out of me. We are now happily married. Yes, sometimes I still react poorly because of the past without even realizing it, but he understands where the reaction is coming from and talks it out with me, then forgives me. I hope this helps, and good luck.

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