SOS! Things are getting out of control with my relationship-i really need advice-please help!?

ok i really need some advice on what to do with my relationship:





im 17, my bf is 19. He's in college but he commutes so its not long distance. I'm a senior in high school. we鈥檝e been together for about a year and 2 months. This September everything started to go so wrong. All of a sudden he stopped texting me as much. He didnt want to be with me me as much and things like that. Now its gotten even worse. He barely texts me at all. he says he's busying do school stuff or this and that. He tells ME im being a jerk to him all the time and when i ask for examples he wont give me any. He is constantly picking fights over the stupidest things-for example, today i didnt text him back for 6 minutes and he got mad and didnt text me for 3 hours, and when i asked why he was ignoring me he said he was just responding as fast as i was. He refuses to talk to me about things, he says i ';put words in his mouth';, when sometimes, yea i have to, because he just wont respond to anything.


when we're actually together things are usually better and hes nicer. Its like the ';virtual'; him thats really nasty to me. The thing is a few months ago i was kinda out of control with my emotions, being nasty to him a lot for no reason, picking fights, and just being miserable in general. i just let myself kinda fall into a hole and took it out on him. and he took it for a while but then started to get annoyed like any person would and called me out on it. and ive been trying so hard to be better for him.


but when i do try and stuff he refuses to notice. but he notices the SECOND i do something so small wrong and starts a huge fight about it. it's like his opinion of me is so low that it will never change. and no matter what i do he'll still be so bitter towards me.


when he tells me how horrible i am i ask why he doesnt just break up with me but he says that he expects me being such a jerk to him will ';pass'; and i really dont know what to think about that. Because these days HES the one whos being a total jerk to ME. and at least i admitted it when i was doing it to him, but he just refuses to believe the things he's doing to me.


i cry every single day. sometimes its when i come home from school because he's been ignoring me. sometimes it's when he drops me off after we hang out because SUPRISE, he picked a really stupid fight. im always crying about it. and i just want a second chance to make things good again and he says hes willing to give it to me but his actions dont reflect that.


i really love him and we were planning on going to the same college and being together but i have to apply soon and if hes just going to let this horrible relationship drag on i feel im going to have to break it off because i dont want to see him around ';our'; college which i dont really care if i go to or not, if we're broken up. it would be torture. but i want the second chance...i want things to be good and i want to be happy, but with him. We're really so good for each other and i want it to work.


i just dont know if like hes too far gone. i think he resents so much more then he realizes. he is so bitter about the way i treated him but now he's taking it to an extreme level and hurting me so much. he keeps kicking me back down when im trying to climb back up to where our relationship was.


i also have had some paranoia that hes cheating on me or something but i would NEVER have predicted that. hes always ignoring my texts and saying hes doing school work or hes tired but when i see him he tells me like about the school work or this and that and i believe him. idk if he's making up really good stories or telling the truth. im leaning more towards he's not cheating on me, but a part of me still feels it's possible. he doesnt have any real girl friends but he told me about a few girls that were friendly towards him at school so idk.


so the main thing is that i cant go on feeling like this. i constantly feel like im going to throw up when hes mad at me or ignoring me. i lay at home in bed crying for hours on the week ends and sometimes after school. when im with him im happy as long as he doesnt pick a stupid fight. and when things are good its usually because were just ignoring our issues because he wont talk to me and i want some peace time so i let it go for a bit but its just like a time bomb and then we have a fight. i know it's my own fault that its gotten this bad for treating him teh way i did a few months ago. I just want to make things right but i cant do it if he wont let me and ive really been showing him in trying but he really doesnt care or notice. he always says he doesnt hate me when i accuse him of it in fights, but also says that he feels like i hate him and when i ask for examples, again, hes just like idk so I just dont know what to think or do about it, oh and he says that i have such a low opinion of him that he feels like it will never change no matter what either, which is exactly what i told hSOS! Things are getting out of control with my relationship-i really need advice-please help!?
okay, i just read that whole thing and tried to put myself in that same situation..





first of all, dont listen to the dumbass answers you got about him cheating on you. i doubt they even read the whole thing or understand the situation. looks like they just felt like answering a question to give themselves more points or something retarted like that. they dont know.





okay. in my opinion, it sounds like hes kind of a stubborn person.. i prolly would have done the same thing to you if you were a ***** to me. idk what you did to him, but im guessing it wasnt very good by the way it sounds. but i do think hes being a little to extreme about the whole thing. way to extreme actually.





they could be right, maybe he does want to end it...but i really dont think thats it. i think that if he really did want to end it, he would find other things that he thought was wrong with you and bring them up so he would have other excuses or something lame like that. but overall i really dont think breaking up with you is exactly on the top of his list.





you have been in a relationship with him for a while also. and like one of the people said, guys get like that sometimes in relationships. giving him a little space (again i said little) at a time works really well, because if you just let it realx and dont worry about it and just ditch on hanging out with him once or twice, then most likely the next time you see him he will be more anxious to see you.





also, yes you prolly should refrain from texting him as much and calling and ect. yes, it will probably will tick him off a little bit, but remember a relationship isnt supposed to be as sad as yours is right now, so if you do stop texting him and he flips a tit at you and asks you why or accuses you of it, then just simply say, ';because i dont like the way your treating me'; and if he says well you did it to me then say something like '; i did. i never said i didnt. but you have been doing this to me for a long *** time now and im sick of being treated like ****.'; and if he says well then fine or brings up breaking up, im sorry i know its hard but just agree with him and say you need to take a break or break up with him. because honestly, if hes really treating you like that and he keeps on doing it and you just keep on taking it like you are, your going to be completley miserable for god knows how long.








theres alot of things that could be wrong... so im not exactly sure what to tell you, i just have a ton of expierence with guys and how they act because im surrounded by them daily and i talk to them about this kind of stuff.








and for the confronting him about cheating thing..


if you do ask him, make sure it DOSENT SOUND LIKE YOUR ACCUSING HIM! guys absolutley hate it when girls accuse them of that. just hint it to him simply. dont act like your mad and dont be crying when you do it. just make it like its somewhat casual conversation. something just simple. or you could just flat out say, '; im not accusing you of anything when i ask you this, im just a little worried and concerned, but have you been involved in a way that would be considered cheating with another woman?'; that could be a way to put it. idk i dont know the guy. it depends on what hes like..

















and remember, you deserve to be happy :) any decisions you make, make sure that there smart on your behalf, because who really wants a relationship based on something like that?SOS! Things are getting out of control with my relationship-i really need advice-please help!?
1. If you can't handle the relationship, you are too immature.


2. He's probably cheating on you.


3. Leave the poor guy alone!
girl can't u SEE hes CHEATING ON U!!!!!! thats Y his acting like a jerk and fights for everylittle thing
:/


after youve been together for so long it kinda gets like that.


my bestfriend is in 10th and her boyfriend is in 11th and theyve been going out for a year and a half. they fight all the time but they still love eahcother. they think that they might just go on a brake for a while which is what i would suggest to you.





go on a brake don't see each other for a while, but don't see other people either. talk to him about it if he doesn't agree then just leave him. it seems like hes making you feel like crap. and you dont deserve this.
i think that he might b cheating on you.


surprise him at the college that he works at.


talk to one of his friends.


idk im sorry this sounds horrible :(


It sounds like he wants you to break up with him





sooner or later the guilt's gonna drive him mad and he'll really tell you whats up.


either that or confront him.


Say


I'm soo sick of what's going on. If you're cheating on me just tell. Because I'm starting to figure out that somethings not right.'


is this seriously the guy that im going out with?





besides even if your not religious god 'll b there when ur broken hearted :)
OH MY GOD! i'm like going through the same thing!


well what i'm doing is, i'm just going to relax.


i'm not going to text or call or IM him as much as i normally do, just to get his attention.


from now on if he wants to talk to me HE can call me and IM me and call me! and that's how i know he truly loves me, and things will get better.


i think its just that im not giving him enough space, sometimes i think guys just want to be left alone for a while, and they're not trying to hurt their girlfriend.


they just want to relax for awhile, and we keep bugging them which causes them to get all pissy. :]


hope i helped!


hang in there!
Wow, thats a long question %26gt;_%26gt;





he's cheating on you. :]
he is in college now. things are happening around him and he wants to be apart of it. he might possibly be interested in another. you better be careful, and possibly confront him about that.
He is not being fair to you. i think he wants to end it but instead of having the guts to do it he is being mean so that you will end it and then he will not be to blame. I would walk away and try to be happy alone. If he wants you he will come back but maybe by then you will have moved on to someone who makes you smile everyday like you deserve.