So I've been with this guy for almost three years now. Our first six months was complete bliss. Then after that, everything just went downhill from there. He hurt me emotionally with his actions, and as did I. But we have tried to work things out and go pass those problems. I've moved on from the past, and stopped dwelling on the past. But he can't seem to get over it, and still dwells on the past. He even goes as far as say hurtful things to me and blames me for all his downfalls. I really don't know what to do anymore. I've tried so hard to make him happy and all he does is say hurtful things to me. What should I do? Everyone I know has told me to just end the relationship. But I just feel this attachment that I can't seem to get over. Someone please help!!Need advice on my relationship? Would love guys' opinion too?
i know that letting go is the hardest thing, but if he is causing you stress, and blaming you for the downfalls in his life, is that really worth it? to be told that you are the reason he is failing? that sounds terrible, no one should have to deal with that, it's not your fault, the past is the past, maybe you should make him part of that... i know that it's been a long time since you've been with him, and you try to pick out the good, but playing the blame game is VERY childish, and ridiculous... i don't think anyone should have to put up with being verbally abused, practically, talk to him about it, and if he doesn't clean up his act and stop hurting you, i'd say you could do much better.Need advice on my relationship? Would love guys' opinion too?
your relationship seems to be at a crossroads. your attachment that you feel is basically something you feel that you want to hold onto, but its not really there. you need space to reevaluate your life and your relationship. people often are fearful of change but often don't realize its necessary for growth.
I agree you should end it. Only six months of bliss out of three years??? Think about it. It is not worth the salvage. To be honest, you should have ended it long ago. Looks like he will always blame you... he'll never take responsibility for his own problems. It's a no-win situation for you.
Anyway, move on. Don't waste any more time with this guy. Find someone else that is not such a jerk.
I am no expert but I really think that you are at a key position in your relationship now. You have a positive outlook and you are willing to salvage you investment in your relationship with this guy. I personally think that you need to be bold and honest with him. What I mean by that is the next time he lays blame on you or says his pitfall was due to you; just tell him that he hasn't exactly made your life the easiest, tell him how much you care for him and tell him that things like (what he is blaming you for) could probably be avoided in the future if you both make a better effort to communicate with each other. Tell him that you sometimes feel closed off from him and don't always feel open to share things with him like whats on your mind and even your feelings. Basically he needs to hear from you that you care about the both of you and that you want things to change. He may seem stand-off ish at first but he will soon realize that someone that is this dedicated to him could definitely not be the root of his problems. You may have to empathize with him that his day to day life is rough but make sure you followup with things that you do on a daily basis that are challenging for you. This is just one way that you can remind him that you are a couple and that includes sharing... love, responsibility, burdens, bad thoughts, good thoughts everyday life. Chances are you do feel closed off from him at times and if you want an open relationship with him that involves being honest with each other. If he's a semi decent guy he'll come around but just stay the course an keep voicing your mind and feelings even if you dont think that it will impact the current conversation because guys take time to process things .
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